I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize