Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
farters have to be the big spoon...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize