...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
