Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
