I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
