guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
