Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
