I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
