I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Duck Duck Cougar?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
