"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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