just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
