So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize