Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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