I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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