ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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