Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
