just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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