how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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