Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
