and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
