i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
