St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
