Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
