dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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