the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
