I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
