I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
