No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize