The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
May the power of my ass compel you!!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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