it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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