We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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