oh god the rape fog is back!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Randomize
