I skipped work to stalk him.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
