I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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