the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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