I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
