She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
that may or may not have been my penis.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
