I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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