I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
