"it" just moved
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
