That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
where am i from again
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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