I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
