I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
