Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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