hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
