The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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