I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
