She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
there was a trapeze. enough said
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
