Im at strip club and am horny
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
