you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
