I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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