don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize