For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
