they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
So many bounce houses so little time
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Let's paint friendship bongs
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
