i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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