It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I can't turn off my feet"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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