why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
