Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm getting married
To pizza
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
