I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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